Bitter, Sweet, or Bittersweet?

Last night before I went to bed, my husband asked me:

"Do you dread having to run 12-miles tomorrow, or are do you look forward to it?"

I guess I didn't have to think about it that long. With the awful winter we have had here in Minnesota, my immediate response was:

"As long as the weather is nice, I look forward to it!"

Was that how I really felt? I'm thinking it must be, because it was an immediate, thoughtless answer.

The question is, how do I really feel?

Running is so many things to me. It is a release. It is a mind-clearer. It can be a chore. But it is a challenge to myself. It would be my ultimate exercise of choice, if I could do nothing else.

A 12-mile run? In the past...and by past I mean last year...a 12-mile run would keep my awake the night before. I'd be thinking about what I would wear, how much water I'd bring, where I would even run 12 miles, what time I should do it, and how will I plan my day around it.

Today, it is more like something I just do. It takes little thought. I don't put that much pressure on myself. I kind of just let it go. The road will take me somewhere. The time of day and the weather? Well, that will just have to fall into place. This isn't rocket science. It is running.

I look do forward to my long runs now. It is almost like a drug that instantly turns my mood around. Dread? That is a harsh word. The last time I dreaded having to do a run was probably last September when I ran a half marathon on less than a few hours sleep. That run, I dreaded. But I went with a handful of girlfriends, so that made it less dreadful than I actually believed it would be.

Everyday Hal hands me a number, it just gets filed in the back reaches of my brain. Yep, I'll get it done. I don't think I could ever dread it.

As a side note, the "professional" photos for the Get Lucky 7K were e-mailed to me this week. I do remember passing photographers at this race and saying...out loud to myself...smile, Theresa. You always look too serious in your photos. Smile and wave. So I did.

Hmmm...does that look like someone who dreads the run? I think not!

Are there days where you dread running? Or do you just take that as an excuse to skip it?